Brief Moments in a Timeless Love
by Irishlass18
Summary: Trace the budding awareness of a soul mate in the guise of a friend, the realization of affection after a tragic loss, and the hope of a possible reconciliation after centuries of being apart. This story delves into three separate moments in the relationship between Hotohori and Nuriko.
1. A Brief Encounter With Destiny

_Disclaimer: Fushigi Yugi is not mine-wish it was-if it was everyone would end up happy with the one they loved:) Also, this is after they tried to summon Suzaku and Chiriko first came-but right before they go off to Genbu lands._

"Come on! Hurry up and twirl him!" Tasuki yelled, bouncing up and down with as much excitement as a three year old in a candy store.

Miaka and Chiriko exchanged an amused glance as they continued to spin the man before them. Tomahome and Mitsukake stood together on the edge of the allowed area, covertly fidgeting with anticipation as well. Chichiri was laughing at the faces Nuriko was making as Miaka and Chiriko continued to spin Hotohori.

It was a rainy day outside but inside there was enough happiness to overcome the dreadful weather. They had already finalized the plans for the journey into Genbu lands and now they only waited for a clear enough day to travel. Earlier everyone had moped about the palace, faces drawn in boredom and depression. Seeing this and hoping to cheer everyone, Miaka had suggested playing blind man's bluff. After a few minutes of explaining the rules and marking a set area to play in, Miaka chose Hotohori to be the first "blind man." His advisers objected to his playing childish games but Hotohori resisted them, somehow knowing that they all needed this.

"Alright," Miaka spoke near Hotohori's ear once they stopped spinning him, "Give Chiriko and I a few seconds before you start going anywhere."

With that, Miaka and Chiriko sprinted away, hiding behind the pillars. Hotohori smiled as he took a tentative step forward. He had never played this game before and so had no idea how to cheat and find people. He heard shuffling feet off to his right. Grinning he lunged across the room but ended up tackling a pillar.

"I think I like this game!" Hotohori heard Tasuki laugh, "It's not everyday you get to see an emperor attack a pillar!"

Hotohori growled and threw himself towards Tasuki but missed when Tasuki jumped over him and skidded to a halt right beside a pillar. Tomahome and Miaka both started talking as they moved about the room, causing Hotohori to move in circles trying to find them. Hotohori suddenly heard someone chuckle right beside him. With a sly grin, he turned and threw his arms about the form. Feeling long hair and soft skin Hotohori felt that he knew who it was.

"Miaka!" He exclaimed as he tore off his mask.

Hotohori blushed slightly with embarrassment when he found himself embracing Chichiri instead of Miaka. Tasuki fell on the floor laughing, as did Tomahome, but Mitsukake and Chiriko were polite enough to remain standing as they laughed. Miaka giggled with delight as she embraced both Chichiri and Hotohori, making the original embrace a little more uncomfortable.

Chichiri shrugged and smiled at Hotohori, "A common mistake, na da."

"Common my ass!" Tasuki managed to gasp between fits of laughter. "He just molested you!"

Nuriko suddenly appeared and whacked Tasuki firmly upside the head, sending him tumbling across the room. He smoothed out his garments and smiled at Hotohori, all the while ignoring Tasuki's heated insults. When chaos seemed on the brink of exploding Miaka stepped forward and cleared her throat, calling for silence.

"Since he didn't guess right he has to go again," Miaka smiled as she helped Hotohori put the mask back on, "Hope you don't mind."

Hotohori smiled as Chichiri and Miaka began to spin him, "I'm actually enjoying myself, thank you Miaka."

This round no one spoke, leaving Hotohori with the silence as his guide. He almost caught hold of Miaka and Chiriko but Tasuki tripped and cursed loudly, breaking Hotohori's concentration. It went on like this for some time until Hotohori was so accustomed to silence that whenever someone did make a noise he immediately headed in that direction with pristine accuracy.

"It's hot in here!" Tasuki complained a little later, "Mitsukake, help me open these windows." Tasuki and Mitsukake disappeared behind the heavy drapes that hid the windows and Hotohori could hear them slowly make their way down the row. When he felt a large burst of wind against his face, Hotohori jumped a little in surprise. He heard Tasuki swear and smiled. "Wow, would you look at those trees bending in the wind. It's pretty fierce out here, almost like dinner time back home."

Suddenly another large burst of wind assaulted the room, blowing out all sources of light. Miaka squealed and began to move about the room searching for Tomahome, who in turn moved in the opposite direction looking for her. Mitsukake, Chiriko, and Chichiri left to go get something to relight the candles while Tasuki fumbled about the room, marking where he was with harsh curses. Hotohori smiled as he pulled the mask from his face and moved slowly in the darkness towards where he thought the windows would be. He made it to a pillar and was just moving around it when a hand suddenly caught hold of his arm.

"Who is it?" He asked curiosity and excitement lacing his voice as he turned to face the faintly outlined form.

Hotohori gasped when a soft finger pressed against his lips, "Shh," a husky voice silenced him.

Hotohori reached down and touched the hand holding onto his arm, amazed at how soft the skin was. He closed his hand around the small one and gently pulled the form forward. He heard a few steps and almost held the form in his arms but Tasuki suddenly bumped into a nearby pillar and swore. The form stiffened and jerked away, pulling Hotohori around the pillar until they were both sheltered from the room and all its occupants by the waving drapes that now encased them in warm darkness.

Hotohori tried to pull the form into his arms again but both hands splayed on his chest and resisted. Hotohori sighed and reached out, tracing his fingers across a soft cheek, down a smooth neck, to soft shoulders. He felt a shiver ripple through the form in his arms and he smiled, reaching out with his other hand to caress a small back. He moved his hand back up to cup a cheek and smooth his fingers across soft skin. Hotohori knew his caresses were working when the hands pushing against his chest relaxed and instead gripped his robe, pulling him closer. Hotohori felt warm breath against his neck and shivered when small hands began to knead the muscles in his chest then move up to his shoulders and wound around his neck.

Slowly, tentatively, Hotohori pulled up against the form, relishing the feeling of having the warm body pressed so close to his own. Fingers began to play with the string holding his hair and soon, when he hair was free of the small hindrance, dove deep into his hair, pulling Hotohori's head down closer. Warm breath now fanned his cheeks and he could feel their chests rising and falling in rhythm, as well as their heartbeats.

"Who are you?" He questioned softly, their faces slowly traveling towards each other.

Soft lips brushed across his cheek, close to his own lips, "Shh," the huskiness of the voice worked its magic on Hotohori and before he could stop himself, he lowered his head and pressed his lips against soft lips that felt like wet satin.

Hotohori lost all connection with reality as he kissed the person in his arms. A tongue touched his lip, tasting him in a soft caress, he returned the favor, letting himself indulge on these kisses, with a mouth so wet, and warm and lush pressed against his own. When he breathed in he smelled a faint alluring scent, one that was vaguely familiar but he could not grasp where he had smelled it before. The kiss tasted sweet and held such longing that Hotohori pulled the figure even tighter against himself. He moved his lips to a forehead, and then to cheeks, and finally the mouth again, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue in. Their tongues met and moved together, sliding back and forth in a natural rhythm. Hotohori tightened his hold, bending the form over his arm ever so slightly so he could have more access. He felt the hands in his hair tighten, moving across the nape of his neck and up toward the top of his skull, holding him for the kiss. The form softened even more against him, melting and conforming to his own body, he opened his moth wider and shifted angles, so he could have more—more access, more tongue in his mouth, because it was driving him crazy in the most exquisite way.

He broke the kiss only long enough to trail a long line of hot kisses down an exposed throat to the spot above a wildly beating pulse. He licked the skin here, relishing the feel of the soft body enfolded in his arms and the shivers he caused to run through it. He licked again and smiled when hands pulled his face up and insistent lips met his once more. Hotohori was forced to take a step back, his body now pressed between the pillar and the form, not that he minded. They kissed like this, deep and insistent, their bodies pressed and moved against each other, for how long Hotohori did not know. He only knew these kisses, this form in his arms, and this moment in time. He was absorbed into this person in his arms, he was one and at peace, with himself and with the world around him.

"Shit that hurt!" Tasuki swore nearby, making Hotohori break off the kiss.

He was breathing hard, as was the figure in his arms. He leaned his forehead against theirs and didn't move for a moment, memorizing the feel and scent of them. He kissed the top of their head then kissed his way down to lips again. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss against theirs then broke off when they were both tempted to deepen it again.

"I've got the fire if any of you want to help me light these candles." Chichiri announced his presence.

The form suddenly stiffened and stepped away from Hotohori, though both were reluctant to relinquish their hold. Hotohori suddenly felt cold without the warmth against him but he didn't try to pull the figure back into his arms. He could just make out the outline of the small figure but not any details. He knew it wasn't Miaka, he heard her talking to Tomahome. He was about to question the figure before him but an arm shot out of no where and jerked him back around the pillar into the faint candlelight. The sudden change of environment made Hotohori cringe when the light hit his eyes, making him want to retreat back into the other world, the world that was full of peace and warmth, fervent kisses and soft caresses...

"Here you are," Tasuki patted him firmly on the shoulder, "I thought you wandered off the balcony with that mask on."

Hotohori chuckled and shook his head, "No, I just wanted to see the storm."

Tasuki took in the emperor's slightly disheveled appearance and swollen lips and grinned, "Enjoy yourself?"

"Yes," Hotohori glanced over his shoulder to the waving drapes and hid a soft smile, "I enjoyed myself immensely."

"Immensely what?" Miaka questioned when she appeared at Tasuki's side, followed quickly by Tomahome and Chiriko.

Hotohori smiled a mysterious smile and shrugged at his friends, "Enjoyed myself today, thank you Miaka. But I'm afraid I must get back to my advisers."

"Before they die of a heart attack from excessive worry and stress?" Mitsukake joked, giving Hotohori a brotherly pat.

Hotohori nodded as he tied his hair back up with a different string, the first had probably dropped, and slowly began to move towards the door. As he walked, he glanced at all his friends then stopped. Nuriko was not among them. Hotohori turned on his heel and searched every visible corner of the room, hoping he would spot a flash of violet hair. As he searched, his face flushed with both embarrassment and shame. If that figure had been Nuriko…

"What are you looking for, Hotohori-sama?" Nuriko's husky voice close to his ear nearly made Hotohori jump out of his skin.

Hotohori whirled to face the small man, taking in his appearance as he did so. Nuriko looked like he always did, small and slightly feminine, creamy skin and violet hair, bright eyes filled with humor, and lips curved up in a smile. Hotohori frowned as he looked at Nuriko's lips, suddenly transfixed by the sight of them.

"Hotohori-sama?" Nuriko's voice brought Hotohori out of his thoughts, "Are you alright?"

Hotohori stood straight and nodded, "Yes, just a little tired is all. I will see you later, Nuriko. Goodbye all." Hotohori smiled over his shoulder as he quickly walked past Nuriko and out the door. For a moment there, he had been tempted to pull Nuriko in his arms and kiss him, just to see if it had been him. Hotohori shook his head as he hurried down the hallway, this would do no good.

Nuriko smiled softly as he walked further into the room, heading towards his friends. For a moment there, he thought Hotohori had guessed his secret, but then he had shaken his head and left abruptly. Nuriko sighed and reached inside his pocket to touch the leather string. He was content with life now; even if Hotohori never loved him back the way he loved him, he was content. He had kissed Hotohori and felt him kiss him back just as earnestly. He had been intimate with his love, even though it had been brief, and he had tasted such exquisite love that he couldn't help but smile with pleasure.

"Why are you smiling like that, Nuriko?" Tomahome's question made Tasuki stare in curiosity at his cross-dressing friend.

Tasuki swallowed past a sudden urge to laugh when he saw the same swollen lips as Hotohori had, and a very satisfied and content gleam in Nuriko's eyes. Tasuki chuckled to himself but said nothing, it was not his place to say anything, and for once, he was going to respect that. He tilted his head in thought, since when had HE begun to respect others? Tasuki snorted and looked back to the flame before him with a faint smile spread across his lips. He supposed ever since he had seen the happiness in Nuriko's eyes after he kissed Hotohori.

"No reason," Nuriko replied, "I'm just very happy." He caressed the string again and smiled once more, Tasuki was grinning as well, both knowing and yet not knowing.

_I'm writing a three-part storyline involving Hotohori and Nuriko and I'll publish the sequel sometime soon but until then...hope you enjoyed!_


	2. Brief Goodbyes

_This is right after Nuriko Is killed and Miaka and the others are in mourning. __(Fushigi Yugi is not mine-and if it was **everyone** would end up happy!)_

* * *

"Your highness what's wrong?" Hotohori heard his advisors ask but found no voice to answer them.

He moved from the table where he had been in meeting with his chief administrators, to the door. Quietly and with great care, he opened the door and stepped outside into the hallway. Hotohori breathed in the fresh air as he walked calmly to the rail. He reached out and grasped it with both hands, amazed at how white and shaky they had suddenly become. Hotohori looked across Konan to the north, seeing none of his empire and not the sea. He saw only his friends in his mind's eyes, kneeling beside a broken body.

Hotohori sucked in his breath and clutched at his heart. The image cleared in his mind and he saw…Hotohori was shaking now as he gazed down at the corpse of Nuriko. A soft cry escaped Hotohori's lips when the image dissipated and cleared from his mind, leaving him broken and alone. His whole body was shaking and he felt warm tears begin to form at the edges of his eyes. He needed to be alone and NOW.

"Your Excellency, is anything wrong?" One of his advisors spoke from close behind him.

Hotohori turned his head to the side and stared at him from the corner of his eye, "I must retire to my quarters for a while; I am most fatigued of sudden." He turned and slowly trudged down the hall, only barely hearing his men agree and bow to his retreating back.

Hotohori walked slowly until he was out of sight then he increased his pace. He didn't realize he was running until he ran into his room and shut himself in, his chest rising and falling in quick gasps. He removed his crown and took down his hair, next discarding his royal robes until he stood there in only his silk pants and long silk tunic. He moved to his vanity and sat down numbly. He stared at his reflection silently, only half seeing the image before him.

Hotohori reached up and touched his pale cheek, seeing the same action in the mirror. Next, he moved his fingers to his forehead, then to his nose, eye, chin, and finally lips. Though he saw himself in his reflection, he also saw a violet haired beauty with smiling eyes and soft lips, lips that were turned up in a faint smile. Hotohori swallowed past a lump in his throat as he reached up and grabbed a lock of his silken hair. He did not break eye contact with his reflection, or the image of Nuriko as he reached down and grasped a small knife. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier did so now; warm and salty as they streaked down his cheeks, leaving faint trails of glistening wetness behind.

As he slowly raised the knife, his mind traveled back in time to the night before the group's departure. Hotohori felt a cry rise up in his throat but he suppressed it as he stared at the image of Nuriko. Reality drifted away and he saw once more the events that would forever haunt his heart…

A knock sounded at his door, jerking his attention away from the mirror and his hair brushing. Hotohori stood and gathered his robes close in front of him as he moved to the door, all the while wondering whom it was and hoping it wouldn't take long because he really wanted to finish brushing his hair. Hotohori sighed as he opened the door slightly then fully when he saw a worried looking Nuriko.

"What's wrong Nuriko? Has something happened to Miaka?" Hotohori was suddenly alert and even turned to retrieve his sword when Nuriko shook his head but continued to stare at the floor.

"Miaka is fine, Hotohori-sama. I just wanted to come see you before we left," Nuriko looked up from his feet and stared into Hotohori's eyes, "I had something I needed to tell you."

Hotohori stepped back and allowed Nuriko inside, sliding the door shut once the smaller man was completely inside. Hotohori had no idea what had Nuriko so worked up but it had to be very important to the lad, from the way he kept moving about the room only half noticing the items he touched and avoiding almost all eye contact with Hotohori. Hotohori frowned and moved forward, he didn't have all night to chase Nuriko around his room trying to find out what was wrong.

He set his hands on Nuriko's shoulders and turned him to face him, "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

He clamped a hand on Nuriko's shoulder and electricity shot straight to Nuriko's core. He restrained a gasp as the unexpected pleasure ripped through him. Hotohori's hand was gentle, strong and warm—warm enough to fire his flesh. Ruthlessly, Nuriko clenched his jaw and tamped down his need to reach out and embrace. Nuriko held his breath, refusing to allow Hotohori's scent into his lungs, but just the sound of his husky voice kindled the desire. His nostrils flared, automatically seeking Hotohori's provocative scent. He sighed with pleasure once his senses were overwhelmed by Hotohori, his scent, his warmth, his touch, him.

Nuriko cleared his throat, and began to attempt to clear his head, "I uh, I um, I needed to uh, I mean I needed to tell you that um, that I uh, that…" Nuriko felt Hotohori's hand tighten on his shoulder and was unprepared when his other hand cupped his chin and raised his face just enough so that Nuriko was now staring into Hotohori's bewitching eyes.

"Nuriko, I am not understanding what it is you're trying to tell me." Hotohori smiled softly and led Nuriko to the bed, sitting them both down with a tug on Nuriko's arm. "If you need a few moments to think then do so, but as is I can't understand anything you're saying."

Nuriko blushed and tried to edge away from Hotohori but realized he could not with Hotohori still holding onto his arm. Nuriko sighed, resigned to his position so close to Hotohori, and stared off into space once more, striving for the right words to say. He wanted to tell Hotohori that it had been him Hotohori kissed on that rainy day. Nuriko wanted to tell him of his love, of his undying devotion…but just could not find the words.

"Nuriko you're shaking." Hotohori's voice cut through Nuriko's struggle.

Nuriko turned and looked at the man he so adored and felt his breathing stop. Hotohori was staring at him with such care and concern in his eyes that Nuriko felt tears begin to well up in his own. He did care for him, if only as a fellow seishi and friend, but Hotohori held some compassion for him. Nuriko focused on this and shut out all thoughts, all warnings and fears. He smiled faintly as he drew closer to an unknowing Hotohori.

Hotohori did not understand any of Nuriko's movements and had no idea of what was happening until firm lips, sensual, and with a hint of desperation, closed over his. Golden eyes widened in shock as violet eyes drifted closed. Hotohori was too shocked to push Nuriko away. He felt the small man tremble and put his hands on Nuriko's shoulders, though he did not push him away. He didn't understand why he wasn't pushing Nuriko away with shock and indignation. His body seemed to break away from his mind and without his meaning to, his arms pulled Nuriko closer until the smaller seishi was practically in his lap. There was something familiar about Nuriko's form in his arms, Nuriko's lips against his, his touch, taste, and smell. Hotohori's eyes drifted shut then almost immediately flew open with understanding. He stiffened and jerked away, ending the kiss as abruptly as it had begun.

Hotohori was breathing rapidly, his eyes wide and his face flushed. Nuriko stared back at him, his heart in his wide eyes, his cheeks flushed as well. Hotohori narrowed his eyes when he saw warm tears begin to steak down Nuriko's cheeks. He stood up and walked to the vanity, grasping the back of the chair with white, shaking hands. He couldn't believe it! He had kissed Nuriko! He, the emperor of Konan, had kissed another man and enjoyed it!

"Hotohori-sama," Nuriko's soft voice cut through Hotohori's embarrassed thoughts, "I know you are embarrassed and more than likely angry at me because of what happened, both times. But please know that I did not kiss you either times with the intent of making you angry or embarrassing you. It was an entirely different reason." Hotohori turned his head slightly when he heard Nuriko's voice crack. "I have loved you ever since I first saw you." Hotohori turned to fully face Nuriko, shock written across his face. "Even when it looked like I was after Tomahome, I loved you. I was only bothering him to make Miaka jealous, because you loved her and I was jealous of her." Nuriko chuckled and swiped a hand across his tear-streaked face. "It's really a vicious triangle come to think of it. I love you, you love Miaka, Miaka loves Tomahome, Tomahome is clueless then stupid then stubborn, and yah…blasted triangle."

Hotohori shook his head in efforts to clear it. He had not known of Nuriko's love, hadn't even suspected it. He had been just as clueless and stupid as Tomahome in that respect. He stared down at the shivering and crying form of Nuriko with a mixture of pity and confusion. He did not know what to say or how to react to this news. He slowly, cautiously, moved to the edge of the bed and sat down, though sitting far enough way so that they did not touch.

Nuriko sniffed and looked back at Hotohori, his violet eyes wide and teary, "You don't have to say anything, or do anything, I just wanted you to know before I left. Life is so unpredictable you know, and I didn't want to leave with this still weighing on my heart." Nuriko sighed and stood up, his body moving jerkily. He turned and stared down at the confused man he so loved. "I do not expect you to return my love in any way and now that you know of my love for you I am content with that. You have given me so much joy," Nuriko's voice cracked again, "thank you for being my friend and always treating me with respect and care."

Hotohori watched with wide eyes, unable to move, as Nuriko bent down and pressed his lips against his own. Nuriko's lips were wet with tears, the kiss tasting of bitter salt. Hotohori kept his eyes open, his hands in his lap, and watched as Nuriko laid his hands on his face and cupped it. Nuriko's eyes were squeezed shut but tears continued to seep through. Hotohori felt Nuriko shiver and tremble and remained still when Nuriko broke the soft kiss and laid his forehead against his own. It was then that Hotohori suddenly regained his senses, and movement, and realized all that had happened. He was just about to reach up to touch Nuriko's cheek when Nuriko straightened and turned towards the door.

Hotohori stood and reached out his hand to touch Nuriko's shoulder but stopped and let his arm fall to his side. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do to ease the pain in Nuriko's eyes, he could offer no comfort nor could he offer the love Nuriko so craved. At least, Hotohori shook his head for clarification, he did not think he could return Nuriko's love.

"Hotohori-sama," Nuriko spoke from the open door jerking Hotohori back to the present, "I will always love you, and I hope that you will think of me with some form of fondness. Goodnight, sire, and goodbye."

Nuriko shut the door and Hotohori could faintly hear his footsteps disappear down the hall. Hotohori sat back down on the bed, confused and bewildered at all that had just happened. He looked down at the bed where Nuriko had been sitting then closed his eyes and moaned. He opened them again and reached out, taking the long lock of hair into his hands. Nuriko had cut some of his hair, just a small portion, and tied it with the same string that Hotohori had thought he had lost that day by the pillar. Hotohori stood and walked to the vanity, holding the hair close to his heart. He opened the jeweled box that he kept his brushes in and gently laid the hair in a hidden compartment on the bottom. Hotohori looked up into his reflection and sighed. He didn't know what he felt towards Nuriko but he knew it was degree more than fondness…

Hotohori sliced through his lock of hair, closing his eyes once the deed was done. When he opened them, he once again saw Nuriko staring out of the mirror at him, understanding and care in his eyes. Hotohori allowed more tears to dampen his face as he opened the jeweled box and removed Nuriko's hair. He could not believe Nuriko was gone. The passionate and loving seishi was dead; never to walk through his palace making jokes that always made him smile, never to give him a soft smile that had always been filled with love, but that Hotohori had never paused to realize.

Hotohori's hands were shaking as he untied the lock of hair and placed his own beside Nuriko's. He smiled softly as he tied the string once more, binding the two together. This done, he stood and walked out his door, holding his sword in one hand and the locks of hair in the other. No one questioned him as he slowly made his way to the shrine of Suzaku, no one dared. Hotohori held a calm demeanor, but one that was also tormented by pain. He quietly entered the shrine, removing his shoes and walked up to the statue of Suzaku. He bowed slightly then moved off to a corner to get a bowl and candle. He returned and knelt down in front of the statue, laying his sword beside him and the bowl in front of him.

He silently laid the locks inside the bowl and lowered the candle. The acrid smell of burning hair filled the shrine but Hotohori didn't notice. He blew out the candle and stared at the small flames engulfing the only piece of Nuriko he possessed. He raised his red-rimmed eyes to the statue and felt sobs begin to wrack his body. He reached out and grasped his sword, holding it in both hands as he presented it to the statue. He bowed once more and laid the sword before him, stretching his body over the smoking bowl of embers.

"I loved him," Hotohori's body shook with sobs, "I loved Nuriko, and it is now too late to even tell him." Hotohori raised himself to look at the statue again. "Suzaku if not in this life, but in the next, give me the strength and courage to tell Nuriko of my love. Let me recognize him and he me. May our souls be bound together for all eternity." Hotohori's voice broke and he collapsed to the floor in tears.

For a time, without his knowing, he had been at peace and filled with joy. In his blindness, he attributed this joy to Miaka but now, as he thought back, it was not Miaka's doing but Nuriko's. Hotohori curled into a ball and cried at the foot of Suzaku's statue. He was alone again, achy and lost.

_Alright, that's the saddest part of the three! Please review, I'd like to know what everyone thinks. Anyway thanks for reading!_

_This is right after Nuriko Is killed and Miaka and the others are in mourning._

_(Fushigi Yugi is not mine-and if it was **everyone** would end up happy!)_

"Your highness what's wrong?" Hotohori heard his advisors ask but found no voice to answer them.

He moved from the table where he had been in meeting with his chief administrators, to the door. Quietly and with great care, he opened the door and stepped outside into the hallway. Hotohori breathed in the fresh air as he walked calmly to the rail. He reached out and grasped it with both hands, amazed at how white and shaky they had suddenly become. Hotohori looked across Konan to the north, seeing none of his empire and not the sea. He saw only his friends in his mind's eyes, kneeling beside a broken body.

Hotohori sucked in his breath and clutched at his heart. The image cleared in his mind and he saw…Hotohori was shaking now as he gazed down at the corpse of Nuriko. A soft cry escaped Hotohori's lips when the image dissipated and cleared from his mind, leaving him broken and alone. His whole body was shaking and he felt warm tears begin to form at the edges of his eyes. He needed to be alone and NOW.

"Your Excellency, is anything wrong?" One of his advisors spoke from close behind him.

Hotohori turned his head to the side and stared at him from the corner of his eye, "I must retire to my quarters for a while; I am most fatigued of sudden." He turned and slowly trudged down the hall, only barely hearing his men agree and bow to his retreating back.

Hotohori walked slowly until he was out of sight then he increased his pace. He didn't realize he was running until he ran into his room and shut himself in, his chest rising and falling in quick gasps. He removed his crown and took down his hair, next discarding his royal robes until he stood there in only his silk pants and long silk tunic. He moved to his vanity and sat down numbly. He stared at his reflection silently, only half seeing the image before him.

Hotohori reached up and touched his pale cheek, seeing the same action in the mirror. Next, he moved his fingers to his forehead, then to his nose, eye, chin, and finally lips. Though he saw himself in his reflection, he also saw a violet haired beauty with smiling eyes and soft lips, lips that were turned up in a faint smile. Hotohori swallowed past a lump in his throat as he reached up and grabbed a lock of his silken hair. He did not break eye contact with his reflection, or the image of Nuriko as he reached down and grasped a small knife. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier did so now; warm and salty as they streaked down his cheeks, leaving faint trails of glistening wetness behind.

As he slowly raised the knife, his mind traveled back in time to the night before the group's departure. Hotohori felt a cry rise up in his throat but he suppressed it as he stared at the image of Nuriko. Reality drifted away and he saw once more the events that would forever haunt his heart…

A knock sounded at his door, jerking his attention away from the mirror and his hair brushing. Hotohori stood and gathered his robes close in front of him as he moved to the door, all the while wondering whom it was and hoping it wouldn't take long because he really wanted to finish brushing his hair. Hotohori sighed as he opened the door slightly then fully when he saw a worried looking Nuriko.

"What's wrong Nuriko? Has something happened to Miaka?" Hotohori was suddenly alert and even turned to retrieve his sword when Nuriko shook his head but continued to stare at the floor.

"Miaka is fine, Hotohori-sama. I just wanted to come see you before we left," Nuriko looked up from his feet and stared into Hotohori's eyes, "I had something I needed to tell you."

Hotohori stepped back and allowed Nuriko inside, sliding the door shut once the smaller man was completely inside. Hotohori had no idea what had Nuriko so worked up but it had to be very important to the lad, from the way he kept moving about the room only half noticing the items he touched and avoiding almost all eye contact with Hotohori. Hotohori frowned and moved forward, he didn't have all night to chase Nuriko around his room trying to find out what was wrong.

He set his hands on Nuriko's shoulders and turned him to face him, "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

He clamped a hand on Nuriko's shoulder and electricity shot straight to Nuriko's core. He restrained a gasp as the unexpected pleasure ripped through him. Hotohori's hand was gentle, strong and warm—warm enough to fire his flesh. Ruthlessly, Nuriko clenched his jaw and tamped down his need to reach out and embrace. Nuriko held his breath, refusing to allow Hotohori's scent into his lungs, but just the sound of his husky voice kindled the desire. His nostrils flared, automatically seeking Hotohori's provocative scent. He sighed with pleasure once his senses were overwhelmed by Hotohori, his scent, his warmth, his touch, him.

Nuriko cleared his throat, and began to attempt to clear his head, "I uh, I um, I needed to uh, I mean I needed to tell you that um, that I uh, that…" Nuriko felt Hotohori's hand tighten on his shoulder and was unprepared when his other hand cupped his chin and raised his face just enough so that Nuriko was now staring into Hotohori's bewitching eyes.

"Nuriko, I am not understanding what it is you're trying to tell me." Hotohori smiled softly and led Nuriko to the bed, sitting them both down with a tug on Nuriko's arm. "If you need a few moments to think then do so, but as is I can't understand anything you're saying."

Nuriko blushed and tried to edge away from Hotohori but realized he could not with Hotohori still holding onto his arm. Nuriko sighed, resigned to his position so close to Hotohori, and stared off into space once more, striving for the right words to say. He wanted to tell Hotohori that it had been him Hotohori kissed on that rainy day. Nuriko wanted to tell him of his love, of his undying devotion…but just could not find the words.

"Nuriko you're shaking." Hotohori's voice cut through Nuriko's struggle.

Nuriko turned and looked at the man he so adored and felt his breathing stop. Hotohori was staring at him with such care and concern in his eyes that Nuriko felt tears begin to well up in his own. He did care for him, if only as a fellow seishi and friend, but Hotohori held some compassion for him. Nuriko focused on this and shut out all thoughts, all warnings and fears. He smiled faintly as he drew closer to an unknowing Hotohori.

Hotohori did not understand any of Nuriko's movements and had no idea of what was happening until firm lips, sensual, and with a hint of desperation, closed over his. Golden eyes widened in shock as violet eyes drifted closed. Hotohori was too shocked to push Nuriko away. He felt the small man tremble and put his hands on Nuriko's shoulders, though he did not push him away. He didn't understand why he wasn't pushing Nuriko away with shock and indignation. His body seemed to break away from his mind and without his meaning to, his arms pulled Nuriko closer until the smaller seishi was practically in his lap. There was something familiar about Nuriko's form in his arms, Nuriko's lips against his, his touch, taste, and smell. Hotohori's eyes drifted shut then almost immediately flew open with understanding. He stiffened and jerked away, ending the kiss as abruptly as it had begun.

Hotohori was breathing rapidly, his eyes wide and his face flushed. Nuriko stared back at him, his heart in his wide eyes, his cheeks flushed as well. Hotohori narrowed his eyes when he saw warm tears begin to steak down Nuriko's cheeks. He stood up and walked to the vanity, grasping the back of the chair with white, shaking hands. He couldn't believe it! He had kissed Nuriko! He, the emperor of Konan, had kissed another man and enjoyed it!

"Hotohori-sama," Nuriko's soft voice cut through Hotohori's embarrassed thoughts, "I know you are embarrassed and more than likely angry at me because of what happened, both times. But please know that I did not kiss you either times with the intent of making you angry or embarrassing you. It was an entirely different reason." Hotohori turned his head slightly when he heard Nuriko's voice crack. "I have loved you ever since I first saw you." Hotohori turned to fully face Nuriko, shock written across his face. "Even when it looked like I was after Tomahome, I loved you. I was only bothering him to make Miaka jealous, because you loved her and I was jealous of her." Nuriko chuckled and swiped a hand across his tear-streaked face. "It's really a vicious triangle come to think of it. I love you, you love Miaka, Miaka loves Tomahome, Tomahome is clueless then stupid then stubborn, and yah…blasted triangle."

Hotohori shook his head in efforts to clear it. He had not known of Nuriko's love, hadn't even suspected it. He had been just as clueless and stupid as Tomahome in that respect. He stared down at the shivering and crying form of Nuriko with a mixture of pity and confusion. He did not know what to say or how to react to this news. He slowly, cautiously, moved to the edge of the bed and sat down, though sitting far enough way so that they did not touch.

Nuriko sniffed and looked back at Hotohori, his violet eyes wide and teary, "You don't have to say anything, or do anything, I just wanted you to know before I left. Life is so unpredictable you know, and I didn't want to leave with this still weighing on my heart." Nuriko sighed and stood up, his body moving jerkily. He turned and stared down at the confused man he so loved. "I do not expect you to return my love in any way and now that you know of my love for you I am content with that. You have given me so much joy," Nuriko's voice cracked again, "thank you for being my friend and always treating me with respect and care."

Hotohori watched with wide eyes, unable to move, as Nuriko bent down and pressed his lips against his own. Nuriko's lips were wet with tears, the kiss tasting of bitter salt. Hotohori kept his eyes open, his hands in his lap, and watched as Nuriko laid his hands on his face and cupped it. Nuriko's eyes were squeezed shut but tears continued to seep through. Hotohori felt Nuriko shiver and tremble and remained still when Nuriko broke the soft kiss and laid his forehead against his own. It was then that Hotohori suddenly regained his senses, and movement, and realized all that had happened. He was just about to reach up to touch Nuriko's cheek when Nuriko straightened and turned towards the door.

Hotohori stood and reached out his hand to touch Nuriko's shoulder but stopped and let his arm fall to his side. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do to ease the pain in Nuriko's eyes, he could offer no comfort nor could he offer the love Nuriko so craved. At least, Hotohori shook his head for clarification, he did not think he could return Nuriko's love.

"Hotohori-sama," Nuriko spoke from the open door jerking Hotohori back to the present, "I will always love you, and I hope that you will think of me with some form of fondness. Goodnight, sire, and goodbye."

Nuriko shut the door and Hotohori could faintly hear his footsteps disappear down the hall. Hotohori sat back down on the bed, confused and bewildered at all that had just happened. He looked down at the bed where Nuriko had been sitting then closed his eyes and moaned. He opened them again and reached out, taking the long lock of hair into his hands. Nuriko had cut some of his hair, just a small portion, and tied it with the same string that Hotohori had thought he had lost that day by the pillar. Hotohori stood and walked to the vanity, holding the hair close to his heart. He opened the jeweled box that he kept his brushes in and gently laid the hair in a hidden compartment on the bottom. Hotohori looked up into his reflection and sighed. He didn't know what he felt towards Nuriko but he knew it was degree more than fondness…

Hotohori sliced through his lock of hair, closing his eyes once the deed was done. When he opened them, he once again saw Nuriko staring out of the mirror at him, understanding and care in his eyes. Hotohori allowed more tears to dampen his face as he opened the jeweled box and removed Nuriko's hair. He could not believe Nuriko was gone. The passionate and loving seishi was dead; never to walk through his palace making jokes that always made him smile, never to give him a soft smile that had always been filled with love, but that Hotohori had never paused to realize.

Hotohori's hands were shaking as he untied the lock of hair and placed his own beside Nuriko's. He smiled softly as he tied the string once more, binding the two together. This done, he stood and walked out his door, holding his sword in one hand and the locks of hair in the other. No one questioned him as he slowly made his way to the shrine of Suzaku, no one dared. Hotohori held a calm demeanor, but one that was also tormented by pain. He quietly entered the shrine, removing his shoes and walked up to the statue of Suzaku. He bowed slightly then moved off to a corner to get a bowl and candle. He returned and knelt down in front of the statue, laying his sword beside him and the bowl in front of him.

He silently laid the locks inside the bowl and lowered the candle. The acrid smell of burning hair filled the shrine but Hotohori didn't notice. He blew out the candle and stared at the small flames engulfing the only piece of Nuriko he possessed. He raised his red-rimmed eyes to the statue and felt sobs begin to wrack his body. He reached out and grasped his sword, holding it in both hands as he presented it to the statue. He bowed once more and laid the sword before him, stretching his body over the smoking bowl of embers.

"I loved him," Hotohori's body shook with sobs, "I loved Nuriko, and it is now too late to even tell him." Hotohori raised himself to look at the statue again. "Suzaku if not in this life, but in the next, give me the strength and courage to tell Nuriko of my love. Let me recognize him and he me. May our souls be bound together for all eternity." Hotohori's voice broke and he collapsed to the floor in tears.

For a time, without his knowing, he had been at peace and filled with joy. In his blindness, he attributed this joy to Miaka but now, as he thought back, it was not Miaka's doing but Nuriko's. Hotohori curled into a ball and cried at the foot of Suzaku's statue. He was alone again, achy and lost.

_Alright, that's the saddest part of the three! Please review, I'd like to know what everyone thinks. Anyway thanks for reading!_


	3. Brief Reunions

_Third and final section of my three-part SL involving Hotohori and Nuriko. This one is by far the closest, for me at least, because not only are some of my wishes fulfilled(hehe) but also it takes place in modern times and is filled with great irony! **Disclaimer: FY isn't mine if it was…everyone would end up happy!**_

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"I heard you mom!" Nuriko all but yelled into her cell phone as she hurried along the street.

It was a blistering hot day outside and when one was in a big city like Chicago it got even hotter. Tall buildings did nothing as a source of shade but instead seemed to lock in the heat and humidity. The air was oppressive and suffocating, almost as bad as her mother was. Nuriko tightened her hold on the flimsy phone as she juggled her purse in one hand and the keys to her apartment building in the other. She had not meant to answer her phone, and now that she was tortured by her mother's complaints and worries, she seriously wished it were ok to throw her phone off the nearest bridge.

"Yes," Nuriko growled as she unlocked her building and began to press her way inside, "I understand your concerns but really mom I'm a grown woman now!" Nuriko suddenly tripped and dropped her purse, all its contents spilling across the entryway. "Damn you-no not you mom! I dropped my purse is all…mom…mom! Calm down! No one is lurking behind me trying to find a chance to attack!" Nuriko tossed her thick violet hair over her shoulder as she glanced behind just to be sure. "Yes, I'm looking right now and no one is out there."

Nuriko looked back down to her small hands as they hurriedly began to gather up her stuff. "Mom…" Nuriko sighed once she got all her stuff together and made it fully inside the building. "Mom…" Nuriko waved to the desk clerk and managed a slight smile despite her growing annoyance with her mother. "Mom…" Nuriko moved to her mailbox and set her purse on the ground between her feet, not wanting to take another chance. "Mom…" She was not even paying attention anymore, arguing with her mother was merely a reaction now. "Mom…" Nuriko didn't notice that her voice sounded distracted as she flipped through her mail, frowning and flipping a birdie at every bill she found. "What-ow-damn it mom why did you yell at me?"

Nuriko moved the phone away from her ear and rubbed it before switching to the other ear. She bent over and dropped her mail inside her purse before picking it up and moving around the corner towards the elevator and stairs. The desk clerk shot her a sympathetic glance and Nuriko nodded, wishing she could wallow in that pity instead of listening to her mother.

"Yes I was paying attention! You were complaining about my recent refusal to meet up with some stupid guy that you're trying to force on me. Am I right? Oh and, I can't forget, you're complaining about my choice of apartments, saying that it is unseemly for me to be living in the same vicinity as cross dressers and gays." Nuriko stared at the door to the stairs then down at her disheveled purse. "Mom, how many times do I have to tell you that being gay and cross dressing isn't contagious! By associating and living near such people will not make me one of them. And also, just because they have a different preference in partners and clothing doesn't make them any less than the rest of us." Nuriko frowned at the stairs and turned towards the open elevator doors.

Once she stepped in the doors shut and she only faintly noticed that one other man was in the elevator, his face buried behind a newspaper. Nuriko hoped that he wouldn't murder her for arguing with her mother in such a small space, her mother's voice could carry loud and clear even through a telephone. Nuriko shifted from one foot to the other as she silently, but irritated, listened to her mother.

"Mom, not only is every guy that you throw at me too young but they also misunderstand me and my reasons for living on my own, supporting myself, and not with your financial backing." Nuriko pushed a few stray strands of hair away from her pretty face. "Mom please understand me here. I am happy like this, living simply with only my livelihood to support me. So I can't afford all the expensive clothes and accessories that I did while I lived under your financial support, but believe me I'm not running around naked!" Nuriko heard the newspaper rustle a little at her words but she refused to look over her shoulder at the man's expression. "I want a man to like me for who I am and not my money and influential contacts. I want him to be my friend, my companion, my advisor, my lover. I do not want a merger or loveless relationship. I want friendship, passion, respect, and honesty." Nuriko heard more rustling but merely shifted her feet again. "Please allow me these wishes. Please-"

The elevator suddenly jerked to a halt, the violent movement sending Nuriko to her knees on the cold floor. She dropped her phone and her purse and cursed fluently when her phone shattered on the floor and all the contents of her purse spilled again. Nuriko bent further down and began to gather up the items when the lights flickered. She looked up at the ceiling, a ferocious scowl on her face.

"Don't even-" Nuriko didn't even finish her threat before the lights flickered once more then went out, leaving the small elevator in near darkness with only the small half-working emergency lights lining the floor. "Shit!"

Nuriko threw her purse away from herself and leaned against the wall, blowing her wayward hair out of her face as she did so. Right when she had been in the middle of convincing her mother into letting her stay on as she was, this disaster had to happen. Nuriko did not even bother looking for an emergency telephone, there wasn't one. This was the elevator that fighting couples used to strand themselves in order to deck it out then make-up, and with a telephone there, it was sometimes too tempting to call for help, so it was an unsaid agreement that the telephone would be destroyed beyond use.

"Why did I use the elevator?" Nuriko growled in frustration, crossing her arms over her chest and glared at the faintly illuminated figure across from her.

Hotohori smiled softly, doing his best to hide his amusement. He was amused at Nuriko, yes, but was even more amused with fate. This had not been his plan but he would go with it with all his heart, and silently waved at Suzaku for his imagination.

He had lived in the same building, on the same floor, and worked at the same office as Nuriko but she still did not know who he was. She ran into him a few times and had politely said hello, but no matter how many subtle hints to their past, she didn't know him. Hotohori had tried for a long time to get her to remember, leaving little clues to the past in her office or at her doorstep, but it did no good. She didn't remember a thing! After almost a year of this, Hotohori had given up the aggressive tactics and instead decided to merely exist near her, content to catch glances of her smiling face or hear the sweet quality of her voice.

"Possibly because you didn't want to juggle the stairs with your purse and your mother all at the same time." Hotohori folded up the newspaper and let it drop to the floor as he too sat down and stretched his legs out.

He could see all of Nuriko and knew that she could only see the outline of his body. The lights were all in working order where he sat but where she was there were little to none and the lights behind him kept her from seeing his expressions, but allowed him all the time in the world to stare at her gorgeous body. She wore a tailored skirt suit of beige with comfortable, but professional, shoes on her feet. The skirt was shorter than most professional women would like, almost six inches above her knees, and the shirt beneath the suit jacket was black satin, very flimsy and delicate looking.

She had long legs that made him wonder what it would be like to have them wrapped around him, and her arms were long as well, but she was far from tall and lanky. Her chest was not huge but attractive and full, definitely an improvement from the past. Hotohori smiled at his thoughts but continued to study her in silence. She was average height, a good 5'7 against his 6'3, and average build. He had never been a good weight guesser but he could see from the trimness of her thighs and calves that she was active. At one time he had gotten up extra early on weekend mornings just so he could make it to the park and occasionally see her power-walking or jogging.

Her hair and eyes were just a brilliant as they had been in the past, both a deep violet that made him want to sink his fingers in her silken tresses and gaze for long hours into her intense eyes. He was obsessed, he knew it, but he had a very good excuse. In his last lifetime he'd deprived Nuriko of his love, and in result deprived himself of complete happiness; now in this lifetime, he refused to allow both of them the same mistake. Too much had been sacrificed in the past for that to happen again.

Nuriko blushed in embarrassment, "Oh yah, sorry if I was too loud and personal for you."

"Quite the contrary," Hotohori quickly interjected before she had a chance to feel bad, "I found it both amusing and heart warming. It isn't every day that one meets a woman who wants all those things instead of wealth, as well as average clothing instead of designer." He saw Nuriko smile and quickly added, "I especially liked the part about not running around naked."

Nuriko snorted with laughter, making Hotohori's heart warm. He knew so much and yet so little about her. He knew of her past, more than she knew, and he knew of her now. It had taken him all his youth and early college years to find her and once he had he majored in the same field as her and moved to the same city. He couldn't take any chances that they would merely pass one another on the street, and so had set out studying her every feature. She still had that adorable mole, but this time it was right below her right ear, and a dimple appeared on her cheek. She had a few freckles across her nose from all her travels in South America on Peacecorp missions, but other than that, she had no blemishes on her milky white skin.

"My mother just doesn't seem to understand my need for independence and true happiness," Nuriko sighed, somehow finding it easy to talk to her velvet voiced stranger, "She feels that if I have money then I should immediately be happy. But money itself doesn't make me happy," Nuriko looked over at him for understanding as she continued, "it's the uses for money. There's so much I can do with money, so much happiness I can give others in more need than I…and my mom just doesn't understand that and would constantly complain over how I spent my money. So I decided to leave after my graduation, grabbing the first available job, and never looking back."

Hotohori smiled and nodded his understanding. He understood more than she knew but made no comment on his knowledge. This was the most he'd heard her speak in all the time he'd known her and it was doing wonders for him. His whole being was relaxed, like finally arriving home after a long journey. Now if only he could pull her into his arms without scaring her then everything would be as it should.

"I congratulate you on your independence and sincerity towards you ideals." He raised an imaginary glass towards her with a bright grin.

Nuriko blushed slightly and glanced down at her lap, suddenly a little shy. She hadn't meant to speak so much, and reveal so much about herself, but it had all been so easy and somehow right with him. A certain familiarity about him made her relax and feel instantly at ease. She had encountered this only once before and that had been in passing. A new partner had been introduced to her at the firm, they had had a few moments to talk, and in those few moments, she had been more relaxed than ever before in her life. Now here she was again, very relaxed and babbling about herself to a perfect stranger.

Nuriko blushed furiously when she suddenly realized a serious blunder on her part, "I am so sorry! My name is Kourin Jeong, but my friends just call me Nuriko." Nuriko held out her hand and leaned forward slightly.

"Hotohori Na," Hotohori clasped her hand in his own and smiled warmly at her, "A pleasure to meet you once again."

Nuriko recognized a lot about this man, his touch, his name, and his demeanor but she could not place where and why. Nuriko shook his hand quietly while she thought back over the years in attempts to figure out how she knew him, not realizing that she still held onto him. Only when he cleared his throat and gave her an amused smile did she realize she still had his hand.

"Sorry," Nuriko blushed again and dropped his hand, "I feel like I've met you before so I was trying to come up with where and when."

Hotohori smiled, wishing she knew the full extent of their history together, "I was just recently hired as a new partner at your firm. We met almost a year ago at the Christmas party, given we didn't talk for long but we did exchange names and smiles."

"Oh yes! Now I remember," Nuriko blushed again, remembering her earlier thoughts, "I thought I recognized you!"

Hotohori smiled another mysterious smile and nodded, refraining from the desire to grab her and kiss her passionately until she did not have enough breath to talk. Though she didn't know it she continued to throw out double-edged phrases; words that struck his heart and memories with their potency. Each barb made a direct hit on his heart but he said nothing of his pain, he did not deserve the chance to voice it. After all that Nuriko had been through…a little pain in this lifetime was much less than what he deserved.

"I didn't know you lived in my building!" Nuriko had been thinking of all the times she might have seen him but came up with a blank. "In fact I haven't seen you since that party. Are you ever here or does Smith have your running around the country on errands and meetings?"

"A little bit of the latter but most of the time I'm here. I just work late and get up early. Workaholics run in my family." Hotohori grinned at Nuriko and shrugged his shoulders.

Nuriko nodded her understanding, using the moment to further study him. She remembered when she first met him that she had found him attractive, beautiful even, but had not acted on her interest. At that time, she had been much more ambitious and focused on her position than on a social life and gorgeous men. Now, sitting in the ever-warming elevator, she had all the time in the world to study and admire the specimen of hunkish man sprawled next to her. Even though she could not see the specific details of his face she knew he had broad, and muscular, shoulders, the muscle showed through even his dress shirt. He had a trim waist, but not too narrow, and very strong thighs. He was the perfect shape, both broad and muscular, but not overly so. His hair was longer than what she would expect for a professional, almost down past his shoulders, but he had it tied back with a single leather string.

When she had met him before he had had the most gorgeous brown hair, dark chocolaty looking, and warm brown eyes with flecks of gold in them. Everything about this man was warm and inviting. Just the thought of him made Nuriko want to curl up in his lap and purr herself to sleep. He was very masculine complimenting her extreme femininity, even the smell of him was masculine. It was spicy and tickled her nose, making her want to bury her nose in his neck and inhale for hours on end until she became giddy from it. When they had shaken hands, she found his skin delightfully soft but not as a woman's, he at least took care of his skin. He was both hard and soft, his body firm and muscular, and his smile and touch warm and tender. He would be a wonderful lover…

Nuriko blushed fiercely at her wandering thoughts and dropped her eyes down into her lap. She couldn't believe she had just ogled a man, obviously at that, and allowed her mind to wander in the direction it had. What was wrong with her! Was she going mad?

"My family is what you would call middle-class but we're very happy," Nuriko was jerked out of her self-pity by Hotohori's soothing voice, "I have two older siblings and three younger, three girls and three boys in my family. All of us are ambitious in our professions but we never stop calling each other up just to talk and see how things are. Despite how far apart we live, the farthest living one is in Japan, we always keep a sense of family and obligation." Nuriko knew that he was trying to distract her from her embarrassment and she didn't take offense, like she might've in a different situation, but found herself drawn into his description of what was in her mind a perfect family. "We were taught as children to hold integrity and honesty as two of fundamentals with business and dealing with others, but I added to it kindness and generosity. But none of us are pushovers mind you, we are all made out of iron. Our mother made sure of that," Hotohori chuckled and Nuriko was mesmerized. "She taught us and raised us with a metal coated heart, making sure we understood proper decorum and all the rules and regulations of society and royalty. She would always tell us, 'Even though you weren't born into royalty, doesn't mean you can't act like royalty.'" Hotohori winked at Nuriko and she found herself falling deep into his gaze. "Suzaku blessed me greatly in this lifetime with a large family, who love each other for who they are and where they are."

Nuriko found it odd that Hotohori mentioned Suzaku. As a child, she had always been obsessed with Chinese gods and their symbols, chiefly because she had a birthmark that resembled the "Nuriko" constellation. She wondered if Hotohori had a similar birthmark, thus rendering his given name. As it was, she was both enchanted and envious of his family life.

She knew that she need not tell him of her family, he had already heard a great portion of it. Misunderstanding, coldness, family honor, propriety, and politeness marked her childhood. She could rarely come up with a complete happy memory, and this trend carried on into her present. She loved her mother, her father had passed away some years ago, but that didn't stop her from resenting and sometimes not liking her. She was a tyrant, Nuriko knew this, and she didn't stop herself from manipulating and using her own daughter as a tool for a merger in the business empire.

"I wish I could have a small portion of your happiness," Nuriko remarked, instantly surprised that she'd even said the private thought aloud.

Hotohori was suddenly beside her and cupped her face. Nuriko wasn't at all frightened of him, she felt that she'd known him for a lifetime already and so she didn't try to move out of his grasp. He smoothed his thumb across the crest of her cheek, bringing shivers to her skin. His touch was gentle and faint but in it, she felt such tender care that she knew she would melt if he continued for long.

"You can have whatever happiness you desire, Nuriko." Hotohori spoke huskily, his breath gently caressing her face.

Nuriko snorted most unladylike, "How do you suppose I get this happiness that you hold? It is that, YOUR happiness. You were born with people who loved you even with your faults and didn't try to correct you like a malfunctioned machine. You have grown up with laughter and smiles, with love and acceptance. How do you suppose I get even a small portion of this?"

Hotohori grinned and winked at her, "You could always marry me…" Nuriko was quiet for a second then giggled and looked down at her lap.

If only she knew that he was serious. Hotohori smiled along with her laughter and let his hand drop back down. Thus far he had spoken complete truths and each time she'd either found him amusing or odd. How would it be if he came out with the entire truth? Hotohori shook his head and focused back on the giggling woman beside him. He wouldn't think about that possible pain. He smiled down at her again and waited for her to look up from her lap.

When she looked up at him with a bright smile, he was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her. She must have sensed this, for the smile fell off her face and her gaze instantly shifted to his lips then back to his eyes. He reached up again, pressed his hand against her cheek, and stroked the soft skin below her eye with his thumb. Maybe on purpose, maybe not, her face immediately leaned into his hand. Hotohori was amazed at how quickly she responded to his touch, despite the fact that she, in this lifetime, didn't know him. Her eyes began to slide close and he saw the warm violet deepen in color and intensity. In that moment, he almost lost all control, as he looked at her fiery, half-lidded eyes. He began to pull her face towards his and she willingly came with him. They both closed their eyes at the same time and Hotohori could feel her warm breath against his mouth. He could sense the passion inside her through the touch of his hand against her cheek and he could almost imagine what a kiss with her would hold in this lifetime. Would it be as intense and out of control like that day by the pillar? Would it hold soft tears of pain and sadness? Or would it merely be a brush with heaven?

"I'm sorry," Nuriko suddenly jerked away from him and scrambled back up against the wall.

Hotohori let his arm fall down into his lap, aware that her eyes watched his every movement. They had been so close…so very close. He was almost sure that a kiss would be the key to unlocking her memories. For him it had been a tumble down into a well and hours of darkness with only a peacock staring at him from above to jar the memories in his mind. Hotohori sighed and leaned back as well, making no move towards her as he allowed his eyes to close.

Nuriko gulped and edged a little closer, "It's not you, Hotohori, its me. I just don't know you very well and I'm not the type of girl to just jump into the arms of a near stranger." Nuriko felt as if her words were barbs but knew of no reason why they should be. "I know nothing about you, and you know next to nothing about me. We are two strangers trapped inside an elevator. After those doors open what will happen? I'll be living one life and you another." Nuriko found herself inching a little closer, needing to be near for some reason, but closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Hotohori, but I just can't."

"Nuriko," Nuriko kept her eyes closed, not wanting to come back to reality, "I know you better than you think, and guess what?" Nuriko opened her eyes to see a faint gleam of humor in his smoky eyes. "Those doors aren't open yet."

Nuriko knew he was teasing her and she immediately grinned back at him. Hotohori's expression changed almost as soon as she smiled at him and became unreadable to her. If it was at all possible, his eyes gleamed more brightly at her. Nuriko, overcome with a desire to run her fingers through his thick mane, and without thinking, reached forward and buried one of her hands into his hair, relishing the feeling of having his soft hair encase her hand in its thickness.

"You like my hair?" Hotohori's voice brought her out of her reverie and Nuriko jumped, almost dropping her hand to her side but Hotohori caught it by the wrist, his strong fingers wrapping around her skin.

Nuriko nodded with a blush, unsure of what was happening. Hotohori smiled softly and used his other hand to untie the strap holding his hair behind him. As soon as it was free, the thick tresses fell about his shoulders in a luscious mass of beauty. Nuriko didn't need his bidding to continue her exploration of the silken strands. She smiled as she now used both hands to weave through his hair, weighing it in her hands as she allowed it to slide smoothly through her fingers. When she looked back to Hotohori, she found him watching her with another unreadable expression. Nuriko blushed again but continued to play with his hair.

"You have beautiful hair as well," he commented softly, reaching out and burying his hand into her hair, "So soft and beautiful," Nuriko didn't know if he was talking about her hair or her as he combed his fingers through her tresses, "A man could grow old loving the feel of it in his hands, its silk caressing his skin."

Nuriko was completely lost, seduced just as quickly as she had unknowingly seduced. His voice soothed all wariness from her nerves and his touch relaxed all her being. Her eyes drifted shut and her lips parted slightly as she breathed slowly, relishing the tumbling feelings in her body and mind. She was tranquil and at peace here, more than she had ever been, and yet she didn't even know the source of her happiness as well as she would like.

"Nuriko…" Her name sounded like a prayer to heaven on his lips and Nuriko couldn't help but open her eyes and stare into the depths of his own.

They lingered there longer then she knew. They both sat unmoving, staring. Nuriko's were wide in fear, mostly of herself than him. He suddenly reached out and cupped her face, rendering Nuriko immobile. His fingers absently began to stroke her skin, bringing shivers of pleasure to her body. She tried to keep her sigh of contentment from her lips but it escaped non-the-less. She knew she should not have done that when his eyes turned even darker and he moved slightly closer.

Their bodies were now mere millimeters from each other; there was barely a space between them. She could feel the great warmth emitting from his body and she desperately wanted to give into her desire and lean against him. Hotohori pushed his hand into her hair and began to pull her face towards his. Nuriko again went willingly, although her mind screamed at her the reasons why she should not. She could feel his breath fan her face and she closed her eyes, waiting for the moment.

"This is my happiness," she faintly heard Hotohori whisper but she was given no time to wonder at it.

Nothing prepared her for what happened next. Hotohori made no sound when he moved again. One moment Nuriko was drifting in a hazy world of confusion and relaxation, the next Hotohori's mouth clamped firmly against hers and his arms crushed her close to his body. Nuriko only stiffened for a moment, trying to let the shock of the sudden change leave her. When it did, Nuriko wrapped her arms around Hotohori's neck and pulled herself into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. It felt so right, sitting there in his arms, as if she had finally come home after so many years.

The world blanked out and all Nuriko was aware of was Hotohori. His strong arms enclosing around her, crushing her against his firm body. His hand possessively stroking her back and tangling up in her hair. His lips blazing a line down her neck to her pulse. Nuriko sighed and pulled his head closer when he licked the skin above her pulse, slowly rubbing his teeth against her skin.

Nuriko buried her hands in his hair and pulled his head back in order to kiss him. She drove her tongue deep into his mouth, mentally smiling when his tongue just as possessively tangled up with hers. She had never felt anything like this before, never experienced such passion, and she relished the cascading emotions in her mind.

Suddenly, bright flashes of memories not her own assaulted her mind and she had to stop kissing and lean her head in the crook of his neck for stability. A young girl run over by a cart, a small boy cross-dressing with tears streaming down his cheeks, a fierce love for another, a young woman from another world, Suzaku, seishi, fights, and finally, death filled with horrific pain. Nuriko was sobbing by the time the memories stopped flashing and began to settle themselves properly in her mind.

All this time she had lived as a woman, that made her extremely happy, and been in the same world with Hotohori without even realizing it, this time he'd been the one in love and her the unknowing. Nuriko opened her teary eyes and pulled back to look at Hotohori. He smiled softly and smoothed the hair away from her face. The tenderness of his actions mixed with the obvious love on his face made fresh tears stream down Nuriko's cheeks.

"How long have you known?" Nuriko asked in a shaky voice.

Hotohori chuckled and continued to smooth the hair away from her face and caress her flushed skin, "Every since I fell into a well at ten," Nuriko closed her eyes and groaned in despair but Hotohori lifted her chin and smiled at her, "But I haven't regretted knowing and you not knowing. I would have been content to stay as we were for years still. In the Universe of the Four Gods I ignored you and your obvious love; it was only fair that Suzaku pay me back by showing me a small portion of the pain I put you through."

"Suzaku had a hand in this?" Nuriko tilted her head to the side in wonder.

"Don't you find it ironic that in this life you are the one with power and an empire at your fingertips and I am the middleclass man? That I am the one to find out sooner and you not? Only Suzaku could create such bittersweet irony." Hotohori chuckled as he tweaked the tip of Nuriko's nose.

Nuriko nodded slowly, all her thoughts and memories quickly forming themselves into coherency. She could hardly believe half of the ironic situation. In her other lifetime, she had fervently wished not only for Hotohori's love but to be a woman as well. Now, she had both. Nuriko shook her head then grinned at Hotohori, finding peace from all her worry and regret.

"How did Suzaku know to do this?" She asked with curiosity.

Hotohori failed in hiding a smile, "I'll have to tell you about my vow later," Hotohori pressed a small kiss on the tip of her red nose, "But right now I want to dance with you."

Nuriko lifted her brows, "Now? I finally have a female body, and realize it fully, and we finally find each other, and you want to dance…without music?"

Hotohori stood up, lifting her up as if she weighed nothing, and set her on the ground beside him. He kicked the various articles out of the middle of the elevator then immediately pulled her close against his body. Nuriko sighed at the comfort of his warmth, not caring anymore about the suddenness of their situation. He began to sway ever so slightly back and forth, rocking her body against his in slow motions. Nuriko let her head roll forward and rest on his shoulder as they moved, completely content.

"When marimba rhythms start to play, dance with me, make me sway." Hotohori pulled her up close against him; their bodies flush against each other as he ground his hips into her. "Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close, sway me more." Hotohori was singing one of her favorite Dean Martin songs close to her ear as he led her in the slow swaying dance. "Like a flower bending in the breeze, bend with me, sway with ease." Hotohori dipped her and spun her about, all the while singing in tune and rhythm. "When we dance you have a way with me, stay with me, sway with me." He pulled her close again, kissing her firmly on the mouth before spinning her out again.

Nuriko giggled as they continued to dance around the littered and heated elevator, Hotohori singing various songs and Nuriko adding in harmony and a chorus line from time to time. Even when the electricity came back on, they hit the stop button and continued to dance in their blissful world. Nuriko and Hotohori both felt at peace. After running through two lifetimes and being deprived of true happiness and contentment in parts of both, they were together and at home in each other's arms.

When they did emerge from the elevator, hours later, they called their families and made immediate plans for a wedding then worked for hours until she was successfully moved into his apartment. As they lay together on his bed, a tangle of sheets and bodies, they talked quietly of their future. And there would be a future, they'd both make sure of that.

_Fini! Well? Hope you liked it-I know I loved it myself! Please review and I will write even more fics because I'll be inspired. Thanks!_


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